Staying home and staying connected

Hi all. Well, it’s been over a month since I last posted. *sigh*. I wanted to post more thoughts, sooner, but got caught up in work stuff and when that happens, I don’t want to think enough for blogging on my days off. Motivation goes away. Then the whole thing with this virus started.

I have many, many thoughts, but these days it’s often easier to share them in short-form conversations, such as Twitter threads. You can follow me there if you like. (I’ve been very into fandom on there lately!)

This post was started two to three weeks ago, but then WordPress had a hissy fit when I tried to post it and refused to save. I’m just hoping this one works. It feels like it’s been three months since then, not three weeks. Supanova feels so far away too…

Supanova Melbourne is going to be my marker in all of this in terms of when things started. I attended with some caution, but on the second weekend of March, cases in Australia were still limited to international arrivals. I’m also privileged in that I’m not immunocompromised or otherwise at risk, so the risk felt minimal. A week later, Supanova Gold Coast only went ahead because our Prime Minister decided to time the first community restrictions to start on the Monday, not the Saturday. If Supanova GC had been first and Melbourne second, I wouldn’t have gone to it, because things changed so much so fast in that first week. It’s surreal.

How are we all going, people? Hope you’re as okay as possible, right now, physically and mentally. In Victoria, it’s week three of shutdown. (Australia, too, but the way this crisis has been managed so far, the states have had to take the lead and done everything slightly differently to each other, so I’m referencing my home state only.) No-one’s allowed out of the house unless it’s for one of four very specific reasons, with specifications in the fine print. We’ve been told to expect changes in some form for at least six months.

Councils have closed libraries and pools/ activity centres, initially until the start of April, but now indefinitely. University choirs, including my local one, LaTUCS, have paused or suspended activities. (Even this year’s national intervarsity choral festival has been postponed and won’t happen this year – a first!) My church has gone virtual, live-streaming pre-recorded services. Schools will be operating with online/ remote learning procedures and end-of-year exams have been postponed.

Despite the inevitability of the Victorian shutdown decision, its suddenness still took me by surprise. While I’m very pleased it happened – it gives me confidence that our premier and his government are on top of things as much as they can be – it’s still disconcerting.

My brain thrives on predictability and certainty. I was anxious during the week prior to the shutdown due to the uncertain circumstances. I had a meltdown after I went home on the last day of onsite school work actually, because it had built too much. It’s still unsettling that this is going to continue indefinitely and I don’t know when I’ll be able to be physically close to my friends, family and colleagues again.

I’m sure I’m not the only one struggling with feelings around this. In these times, we all need to be gentle with ourselves. We need to support those who work in essential services, like health care workers, cleaners & garbage collectors, posties, and supermarket (etc.) workers. Give them a smile, don’t be a dick to them. The current chaos isn’t their fault.

Honour your own feelings at this time. It’s scary, frustrating, tiring, sad. I’ve found acknowledging the feeling and brainstorming what could help is useful. As well as things like seeking out favourite activities, watching calming/ funny/ moving videos, snuggling with warm (and/or weighted) blankets, taking warm showers and listening to music. All the usual advice applies about trying to get enough sleep, food, physical activity, mental stimulation and social contact. Keyword there being “trying to”.

I’ve been creating daily schedules for myself using Google Calendar. They’re loose and flexible but provide my brain with the structure it needs. I schedule needed activities first, so I can reward myself with the wanted ones after. I also make sure to include reminders for breaks for food and movement.

One of the things I’ve organised are scheduled “virtual café” catchups with friends and family. The idea is we each grab a beverage of choice then phone or video call at a pre-determined time. I love having catchups with friends, and moving this online during this time seems like a great way to stay connected when every other way of socialising is restricted.

Another idea is to do something like what’s suggested by the Black Dog Institute in this article: a self-care plan. They have a template you can follow, it’s quite easy. Give it a go; we all need to think about taking care of ourselves in this time, especially if we’re supporting others.

Everyone needs to figure out how to do stay connected during these times. What works for you? (Please comment! I’d love to get some virtual conversations going!)

I’m going to aim for blogging once a week – I want to get into the habit again. Until next time, remember you can find me on Twitter, like I said at the start of this post.

Reflections

Hi again!

I cringed when I looked at the date of my last published post and realised I hadn’t written a thing since August 14th. That’s nearly eight weeks – wowzers! Guess I got distracted by other things. Hopefully this month will be better, though I make no promises; I’ve learnt by now how hectic life can be and how easily distracted I sometimes get. (Case in point: I meant to start this blog post this morning, not at 21:30 at night. 😛 )

So, in the past eight weeks, what have I been up to?

• I’ve attended another SCA event and had some fun there. I think I might stick around. 😉
• I’ve done lots of admin for work
• I’ve learnt how to do my version of a fine motor/ handwriting program at work (work in progress)
• Same with an emotional regulation program
• I watched the intensity of the Global Climate Strikes – young people to the front for the future! (I hope to write more about this at some point)
• I’ve attended many hours of choir rehearsal, as the semester “sped up” and we prepared in earnest for the concerts of this semester
• I’ve baked various different things, in order to have something to eat for breakfast that I can eat on the go and doesn’t easily go soggy (I’m fussy about that 😉 )
• I’ve tried out a few recipes, too – hopefully I’ll put them on the blog soon.
• I got sections of my hair coloured – I’ll show you a pic or two some other time, when I’m more organised
• I’ve learnt things about myself, really trying to understand how and why I think or feel or do things a particular way
• I watched, with my family, from home as the Richmond Tigers won another premiership – go Tiges! – and reflected on club cultures and community.
• I went camping (properly, in a tent!) and had fun – campfires, so many animals, toasted marshmallows and fruit damper and coal-roasted potatoes…
• Oh and last Friday? I performed in one of the choir concerts of this semester – MonUCS’ Ein Deutsches Requiem. I Had Some Thoughts after that…

In the list above, I mentioned that I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection about what makes me, ‘me’. I have several passions – some are small or about “things”, e.g. my favourite animals are dogs, and I’m one of those people who always likes to say hi to the dog, and often makes up what an animal’s thinking based on their expression/ behaviour. Other passions are bigger and are more, I realise, things “to do” and “to be”. Like story-telling (which I’ve spoken about before and will do so again later) – and music; listening to it, relaxing with it, and performing it.

Last Friday’s concert was fantastic. It was hard work – I wasn’t as relaxed as I was in other concerts. But I feel really happy about it all the same. The reason for that is how many people watched us. We had a decent audience (a fact I’d been slightly concerned about, given the large capacity of the venue) – and more importantly to me, a number of people were there who’d personally either bought a ticket from me, or came at my recommendation, because I was singing.

Afterwards, they were of course the people whose opinions I cared about the most. So to see their happiness and excitement at what we’d performed – pardon the pun, but it made my heart sing. When someone else gets a thrill from watching me do something I love and do it well – it makes me very happy. It fills me up, completely.

Partly, it’s because it is a gift that is shared. I am forever sharing “me” through my passions. But society’s rules and expectations, the way that quirkiness is looked down on because it’s different, meant that I struggled with fitting in for a long time. Anxiety, especially social anxiety, is a leftover gremlin from that. Finding LaTUCS, then the rest of the choir network, helped me become more comfortable in being “me” – because in the choir(s), we’re united through a love of music and a love of sharing that through choral singing. Regardless of our differences.

Being able to share that with the people I love, my friends and family, is wonderful. So I say to you: support your friends in their passions. Go see us perform, or ask us about our current project. Watch us light up and understand: It means the world to us. Often, we’ve spent a long time hiding or minimising our passions and ourselves. Being supported and seeing our friends enjoy what we do? It makes us feel seen. And loved.

Thank you to everyone who came to last Friday’s performance.

Feminism…

I had hoped to write a bit more this week but haven’t. Today, I feel like sharing a couple of articles from Clementine Ford, Melbourne-based feminist and writer. Please read and consider them.

Men Continue to Show Themselves to be Uninterested in Women’s Lives

Clementine Ford on How Men Are Harmed by Toxic Masculinity 

Edited to add: read that reddit thread mentioned in the second article. It drives the point home very strongly. Stupid patriarchy. -_-

Here’s a picture of a kookaburra from a few weeks ago, because I feel like it.

Self-compassion

An interesting link can be found here: Beginner’s Guide to Self-Compassion.

I liked it and have saved it to remind myself when necessary. I also saw the following, shared by a friend on Facebook yesterday:

Image description: drawing of Pooh and Piglet of Hundred Acre Wood. They are sitting on a log, with green grass nearby and blue sky behind them. 

Léx Lacchın

16 May

“Piglet?” said Pooh.

“Yes Pooh?” said Piglet.

“Do you ever have days when everything feels… Not Very Okay At All? And sometimes you don’t even know why you feel Not Very Okay At All, you just know that you do.”

Piglet nodded his head sagely. “Oh yes,” said Piglet. “I definitely have those days.”

“Really?” said Pooh in surprise. “I would never have thought that. You always seem so happy and like you have got everything in life all sorted out.”

“Ah,” said Piglet. “Well here’s the thing. There are two things that you need to know, Pooh. The first thing is that even those pigs, and bears, and people, who seem to have got everything in life all sorted out… they probably haven’t. Actually, everyone has days when they feel Not Very Okay At All. Some people are just better at hiding it than others.

“And the second thing you need to know… is that it’s okay to feel Not Very Okay At All. It can be quite normal, in fact. And all you need to do, on those days when you feel Not Very Okay At All, is come and find me, and tell me. Don’t ever feel like you have to hide the fact you’re feeling Not Very Okay At All. Always come and tell me. Because I will always be there.”

#mentalhealthawarenessweek

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A good reminder of friendship.

Hope you’re having a good week, full of friendship and supportive people even if you have to be busy and/or do hard things.

 

What a couple of weeks…

Hi all.

Whew.

Things are a bit tough right now, aren’t they?

Ugly stuff is happening. The treatment of refugees in America (and, more quietly, in and offshore from Australia) is one issue. The latest blow-up has occurred during Refugee Week, which is a sick irony – especially when refugee rights matter all the time, as all human rights do. Another issue – especially if you’re a young city woman like me – is the recent murders of young women who were just living life. Earlier in the week (and last week), I’d wanted to write more about that, but plenty of people, especially women, have said lots already. Also, my emotional bandwidth is occupied by those very issues and other life ones.

There are so many good things happening, too. The uproar of resistance, quiet and loud, of people saying, “enough”, is a good sign. A reminder that there are more good people working for “equality, diversity, justice and love” (as I saw it mentioned online) than there are opposing that. I’ll quote him because it lifted me when I needed it yesterday:

“There are hundreds of millions of people in this world who (just like you) wake up every day trying to be the kind of person the world needs; lavish with compassion, overflowing with generosity, relentless with love. You are, even when you’re not aware of it, surrounded on all sides by like-hearted people who are not okay with the suffering around them either.”
source here

So, while getting annoyed at world things and thinking about how to change them, prioritising life things, and keeping on keeping on, I’ll take time for me where I can, to be with good people and do fun things. Like this, today – a mob called the Roo Keepers came to my uni campus and I got to hold some different Australian wildlife.

Keep on doing your thing, people. Be your own superhero, including being brave enough to reach out to people if things aren’t going well.

Sing it out as hard as you can…

On Saturday night I was in the audience for the Monash University Choral Society’s  Music Through Time concert. It was fantastic.

Each time I go to one of these I’m reminded of why I keep going. It’s so wonderful to watch friends and other choir members perform songs I know they’ve been working hard on all semester and seeing them having fun whilst doing so. The songs alternately moved me, roused me and entertained me. As I said to a few people after the concert, they all “gave me feels” and it was awesome.

MonUCS introduced me to songs I hadn’t heard before and to new arrangements of old favourites. They sang songs ranging from 12th-century classical through the centuries to 20th-century jazz and pop/alternative, right to 21st-century pieces. There were whole-choir pieces, sung acapella and with accompaniment, as well as solo and small-group works, and pieces with all of these.

Some of the pieces we were treated to included (but were not limited to): Gloria Ad Modum Tubae (Dufay Guillaume) – whole choir piece; Say Love If Ever Thou Didst Find (John Dowland) – a lovely quintet performance; Jesu, Meine Freude (J. S. Bach); Jerusalem (Parry); an SATB version of Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen); a well-carried and embodied Affirmation (Savage Garden); The Longest Time – with a fine tenor melody; finishing with a rousing Sing! (Pentatonix). I’ve taken the title of this review from a lyric of the latter.

Of course, it ended with the after-party, singing more songs until some of us were a bit hoarse, snacking and chatting and playing games, well into the wee hours of the morning.

In short, it was a lovely night out.

Bravo, MonUCS, and thank you! 😀

I’m looking forward to next semester’s concert already.

 

Musings

Well I’ve had a nice little break and today I dive back into the uni world of classes and assignments for a six week block.

The rest of the year is falling into place in some ways – I know where I’m going on my last two placements, for example. This leads to excitement: as one student coordinator (who’s known me since second year) said to me recently, I’m only six months away from finishing uni and qualifying as an occupational therapist! It also leads to a few nerves now and again: six months until I’m trying to find work, and new accommodation, and and and…

So I put the breaks on that, focus on what I have now and what I’ve achieved so far, and remember to have gentle confidence in myself. What happens will happen. Until it does, I’ll take contentment where I can, and enjoy the nice things along the way. Like watching Moana last Friday night with friends at a choir singalong social evening. And cooking lovely things like last night’s dinner: a lentil bolognese dish I adapted from Cooking on a Bookstrap. Follow the link to see the recipe – and pre-order their cook book, due out in August. I’m sorely tempted to get it myself with some gift money I got recently!

Busy Days

Hopefully soon I’ll get a chance to publish some recipe posts and finish off the Japan trip ones. For now, though, here are a few pics and notes from the last week or so, of things that have been making me happy.

Add to this: the ducks I saw walking through uni to choir; the 20+ rainbow lorikeets taking a bath and feeding in the front yard of a place I walked past the other day; the simple peace of drawing and colouring a picture.

Atm I often leave placement at the end of the day feeling like my brain has been used, and used well. I’m learning lots, about occupational therapy in mental health, transferable skills, and about myself. There are rewarding and challenging aspects, and reminders of why I chose to do OT.

I’ve also had some fun times with my uni housemates and friends. Some of us went on a specially-organised cruise on a “showboat” this week!

And LaTUCS (my uni choir) is back for the year. Check out http://www.latucs.org.au and http://www.facebook.com/LaTUCS for more info.

MIV2018 Festival Wrap-up

Hi all. It’s been a couple of weeks…but very good ones.

MIV2018 was a blast. So much fun. I challenged myself in a few ways,  participating in different social events in ways I hadn’t done during my last IV. Here’s an idea: participation pays off. I had a really good time and even won a few times at different social things – which I was not expecting. Participation would have been prize enough. Enthusiasm leads to fun!

I’m not going to lie, it was full-on. IVs always are, especially the first half. Rehearsals for six hours a day, then social events in the evenings. This time, being Social Secretary, a part of me was always busy – mentally or physically – making sure things were running smoothly. By the end of the day, I was quite tired and rather “peopled out” – unusual for me!

I loved organising the social events though. I really like being (one of) the host(s) and seeing people having fun, making new friends and participating – like I said above, it all pays off.

The rehearsals were really good – we had a really good conductor who engaged us well. Patrick Burns got us – or at least me – thinking about the music in particular ways and working together to produce the desired quality sound. We had sectionals where our assistant conductor Leonard Weiss worked with Pat and us in two halves – sopranos and altos in one group, tenors and basses in the other.

One thing I love about rehearsing and performing in big choral groups is the journey from a diverse group of voices just starting to learn the music, to a cohesive group who’ve learnt their parts and sound confident and powerful. It’s bloody fantastic and with IVs, the process only takes ten days! I remember the first time we started feeling really cohesive (for me) – I was singing along as we ran through a piece. I heard the rest of us singing and realised, “This is going to be a great performance.”

I was right. 🙂

We sang really well, if I do say so myself. We heard great audience feedback afterwards too. It was a real treat to sing the pieces – I don’t know if I can pick a favourite, but all have taken turns popping up in my head since.

Thanks, MIV2018.

….and the drums.

Womble rehearsing….and keeping away thirst.

Entree at Aquademic Dinner….

Delicious main meal at Aquademic Dinner….

A quick snap before we go on-stage…

Womble checks out the rehearsal piano…

We brought these decorations in. I like them.

Dance o’clock… Nifty decoration hanging in the hall.

Womble tries out the conductor’s chair…

Womble investigates the pool.

Opening Night.

Colourful coral in the fish tank

A well-earned drink at the post-concert party. 😉

Signatures from most if not all MIV registrants.

Womble with music score and songbook.

When you’re trying to take a photo and someone takes a photo of you….

Was this during my Toast? Or when I retold the punchline of my joke? Hmmm.

Shadowy fish….

Aaaalll the colours! The purply-white one is a unicorn fish or rhino fish, something like that. All so pretty!

Relaxing on the free camp evening.

Card games on a free camp evening.

At the Aquademic Dinner…. every bit as good as I hoped.

Dessert at Aquademic Dinner….

That’s one big crocodile…

Womble and ukulele/guitar (idk which!)….

Womble at MIV.

(Click on the pic for a caption – they’re not in date order, just for fun.)

MIV2018 Festival Opens Today!

After many months of prep, today is the day! Hooray!

If you’re coming, I’ll see you at camp dinner this evening. If not, maybe I’ll see you at the concert? 😛

I can’t wait to see all my friends and have a fantastic time.

Get tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/light-the-dark-tickets-39366091038?aff=es2

See the Facebook event here: https://www.facebook.com/events/305903166591081/

And doesn’t our concert flyer look amazing?

(Link to a shareable version here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwdTWPS792Wnajl5a2w1anlxUzBQTm5OOVpvV0NCTnVvRU9F/view )

If you can’t make it or even if you can, please share these links and the flyer around. The concert is going to be really good, I can feel it, and I want everyone else to hear about that. 😉