I cringed when I looked at the date of my last published post and realised I hadn’t written a thing since August 14th. That’s nearly eight weeks – wowzers! Guess I got distracted by other things. Hopefully this month will be better, though I make no promises; I’ve learnt by now how hectic life can be and how easily distracted I sometimes get. (Case in point: I meant to start this blog post this morning, not at 21:30 at night. 😛 )
So, in the past eight weeks, what have I been up to?
- I’ve attended another SCA event and had some fun there. I think I might stick around. 😉
- I’ve done lots of admin for work
- I’ve learnt how to do my version of a fine motor/ handwriting program at work (work in progress)
- Same with an emotional regulation program
- I watched the intensity of the Global Climate Strikes – young people to the front for the future! (I hope to write more about this at some point)
- I’ve attended many hours of choir rehearsal, as the semester “sped up” and we prepared in earnest for the concerts of this semester
- I’ve baked various different things, in order to have something to eat for breakfast that I can eat on the go and doesn’t easily go soggy (I’m fussy about that 😉 )
- I’ve tried out a few recipes, too – hopefully I’ll put them on the blog soon.
- I got sections of my hair coloured – I’ll show you a pic or two some other time, when I’m more organised
- I’ve learnt things about myself, really trying to understand how and why I think or feel or do things a particular way
- I watched, with my family, from home as the Richmond Tigers won another premiership – go Tiges! – and reflected on club cultures and community.
- I went camping (properly, in a tent!) and had fun – campfires, so many animals, toasted marshmallows and fruit damper and coal-roasted potatoes…
- Oh and last Friday? I performed in one of the choir concerts of this semester – MonUCS’ Ein Deutsches Requiem. I Had Some Thoughts after that…
In the list above, I mentioned that I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection about what makes me, ‘me’. I have several passions – some are small or about “things”, e.g. my favourite animals are dogs, and I’m one of those people who always likes to say hi to the dog, and often makes up what an animal’s thinking based on their expression/ behaviour. Other passions are bigger and are more, I realise, things “to do” and “to be”. Like story-telling (which I’ve spoken about before and will do so again later) – and music; listening to it, relaxing with it, and performing it.
Last Friday’s concert was fantastic. It was hard work – I wasn’t as relaxed as I was in other concerts. But I feel really happy about it all the same. The reason for that is how many people watched us. We had a decent audience (a fact I’d been slightly concerned about, given the large capacity of the venue) – and more importantly to me, a number of people were there who’d personally either bought a ticket from me, or came at my recommendation, because I was singing.
Afterwards, they were of course the people whose opinions I cared about the most. So to see their happiness and excitement at what we’d performed – pardon the pun, but it made my heart sing. When someone else gets a thrill from watching me do something I love and do it well – it makes me very happy. It fills me up, completely.
Partly, it’s because it is a gift that is shared. I am forever sharing “me” through my passions. But society’s rules and expectations, the way that quirkiness is looked down on because it’s different, meant that I struggled with fitting in for a long time. Anxiety, especially social anxiety, is a leftover gremlin from that. Finding LaTUCS, then the rest of the choir network, helped me become more comfortable in being “me” – because in the choir(s), we’re united through a love of music and a love of sharing that through choral singing. Regardless of our differences.
Being able to share that with the people I love, my friends and family, is wonderful. So I say to you: support your friends in their passions. Go see us perform, or ask us about our current project. Watch us light up and understand: It means the world to us. Often, we’ve spent a long time hiding or minimising our passions and ourselves. Being supported and seeing our friends enjoy what we do? It makes us feel seen. And loved.
Thank you to everyone who came to last Friday’s performance.