REBLOG: Forgiving Those Who’ve Wronged Us

Kristi, from the blog finding ninee, talks about forgiveness.

We Have To Forgive Those Who Wrong Us

UGH, right? Here’s the deal, friends. Forgiving people who’ve betrayed us is hard. Like, really really really hard. The mere thought of forgiving somebody who has wronged me – especially when it feels as if they’ve done so on purpose, brings out the bear. The bitch.

When the bear feels too wounded and bumbling to know what to do, I become an older, taller, more wrinkled version of myself at the age of two. I become the I ain’t havin’ none of it, no matter what, arms crossed, feet stompin’ “I know best and you wronged me” toddler.

I’m not talking about giving the kind of forgiveness that happens when a spouse comes home too late from work to ensure that dinner, bath and bedtime are ideal. Of course, you want to throw a sponge at his head, but that type of forgiveness is understandable, and easy, after the moment.

I’m talking about giving the kind of forgiveness that we have to breathe deeply to give. I’m talking about the forgiving of people who were mean, thoughtless, and deeply hurt us.

The kind of forgiveness that brings out our toddler.

I know.

I know.

I KNOW, it sucks. It totally suckity sucksuck SUCKS because why should we?

But guys, we need to. We do, and I know it sucks.

We Have To Forgive Those Who Wrong Us

We Have To Forgive Those Who Wrong Us

Why should we forgive the guy who laughed at us when we fell? Why should we forgive the stupid single beotch with a full cart in line at the “12 or Under” checkout when we stand there, with a I-NEED-TO-NURSE-NOW-BABY and we’re in the store for tampons (and wine)?

Here’s why.

Forgiveness is about ourselves, and making room for light. It’s about not carrying around darkness.

And while I grumble and cry and stomp my toddler feet, I am writing this:

To those who have hurt me: Fuck you. Stupid Dicks.

Wait, sorry. Start over.

To those who have hurt me, I’m choosing light. Here are a few of the moments I want to release and the ones I choose to forgive.

Read the rest here.

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Necessary Irritating Jobs

You know those jobs. The ones which you need to do and have promised your sister/ flatmate/ mother/ significant other that you’ll do, but keep putting off.

For me, those jobs are usually something to do with cleaning, though I am very good at the “oh, oops, I meant to do/ was going to do that” for other things too. (There is a book, Diary of a Wannabe Princess, whose main character’s family nickname is ‘Justa’ for ‘in just a minute’. If my family did nicknames like that, I would relate to her.)

Anyway. Cleaning. I’m the sort of person who – so long as she knows where everything is – is pretty non-fussed about that. Oh, I keep things tidy (there are no clothes on the floor of my room, promise!) – but I just can’t be stuffed to do more than that, most of the time. However, I do see the sense in a clean every now and again. Say, a clean-out of the clothes cupboard once a year (I have too many clothes) or of the space under the bed every six months.

“The space under the bed?” I hear you ask. Yep. That’s storage space, for my keepboxes (cardboard and plastic boxes for keeping old stuff in). I collect little knickknacks, bought and created, on my bookshelf. The keepboxes under my bed ‘keep’ old bits and pieces from school which I can’t bear to recycle (usually written assignments and stuff) as well as past editions of The Big Issue and my uni magazine, Rabellais and programs from past concerts and old journals and Girl Guides things and just stuff like that. Every six months to a year I have to sort through them all (or at least re-organise, because I often just poke new stuff under the bed on top of old, creating a pile which balances unevenly until it touches the bottom of my bed slats. I’m not bothered otherwise.

I’d earmarked today as the day I’d do the clean. I also decided to clean it properly instead of just re-organise. So, off came the doona and sheets, then the mattress and finally bed slats. Oof, that was a job to do on my own. Mattresses are heavy, in case you didn’t know. I gained access to the space under my bed and began sorting, promptly remembering why I hate cleaning.

Dust. I reckon I’m mildly allergic to dust mites or something, because even with a bandanna wrapped around the lower half of my face, I still sneezed and coughed.  Bah!
It took a while to re-arrange and sort stuff. I discovered I had a bit more room under there than I thought, which is good. If I need to, I can start another keepbox under there.

As it is, I’ve come away with things all neatened and ready to be ‘forgotten’ about for another six months.

Tip: after cleaning, have a cool drink and go outside for some fresh air. Also, open the windows in your room to get any residual dust out.

Anyone else hate cleaning or have a similar pet peeve? What would be/is your nickname if it was based on a personality quirk?

(REBLOGGED) Stop Praying for and Exploiting Disabled Children and Adults on Facebook

These posts really annoy me. They seem so insincere and they use the ‘guilt trap’ – trying to trick people into clicking “like” or “share” on the posts out of pity for the person in the image. The unfortunate thing is that they are also scams, as Carly explains…

Tune into Radio Carly


Stop praying for and exploiting disabled children and adults on Facebook.

Posted: 10 Jan 2016 07:45 PM PST

 

“When you see photos, video clips etc with the line about “like = love” “ignore = hate” etc: Please be aware that the person who posted the picture probably has no ownership of the picture. Quite often pictures of people, especially children, with disabilities or visible difference are appropriated by heartless people who use the image to draw attention to their facebook page so they can become ‘(in)famous’. They do not do this because they are a caring person, they do it because they know that YOU are a caring person and will like something they have shared thus boosting traffic to their facebook page, where sometimes there are links to things you would never choose to be associated with. It is wrong on every level to share photos that are not yours to share. It is wrong to post photos that are not yours to post.”

– Rose Quartz, disability activist

I wrote about one like = one prayer slacktivism posts here in 2013. You know the posts.

  • “don’t scroll without typing amen.”
  • “if you woke up this morning and your thankful every day while being bless scroll down and type amen”
  • “how many likes can she get?”
  • “this baby still cute, scroll if you’re heartless”
  • “ignore if you’re heartless”
  • “keep scrolling if you’re heartless”
  • “Ignore If You Have No Heart”
  • One like = one prayer.

In recent months, I’ve seen increasingly more one like = one prayer type posts on Facebook – featuring children and adults with Ichthyosis, and also people with various disabilities.

(Image description: text of “NEW COMMANDMENT: Thou shalt not post pictures online that say 1 share = one prayer. Jesus hates that crap. God.”)(Source)

It’s recently happened to Jack, Brenna, Evan and Steph (and many, many more). People are stealing photos and using them on Facebook pages and groups. Hell, I saw one ‘prayer group’, dedicated to sharing these photos, encouraging mindless scrolling and typing amen. What does this achieve?

These posts don’t state or explain a diagnosis or aspects of disabilities (not that strangers need to know), humanise the person featured, nor, as Craig Wallace and Jax Brown told The Age, draw attention to any real issues people with disabilities face (like access and employment).

Post continues on Carly’s website, which you can access by clicking on the title above, or her site name (Tune Into Radio Carly) above that. Check out her website, it’s really good. 

Writing Tips & Tricks Tuesday

I subscribe to a few author sites where authors fling thoughts into the void of the internet. I’ve decided that this year, for the foreseeable future, Tuesday will be the day I reblog some of these thoughts. (As an example of how many I get, I’ve already got posts scheduled into March, just from a couple of weeks in January.)

This week, I’m just going to put in a couple of links from Chuck’s blog. They’re guest-blog posts, two authors talking about five tips they learnt writing a particular book/ series/ etc.

http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2016/01/21/dan-koboldt-five-things-i-learned-writing-the-rogue-retrieval/

http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2016/01/21/tim-akers-five-things-i-learned-about-writing-the-pagan-night/

And one from Chuck himself about storytelling lessons he’s observed in the latest Star Wars movie: http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2016/01/13/five-storytelling-lessons-from-the-force-awakens/

General Ramble

Hi all. How are things?

I’ve been doing a little bit of this and that. There’s been a lot of sport on lately, which I tune in and out of. For example, tennis. I can appreciate a good shot, but the rules tie me up. Don’t explain it – I understand some things sometimes, but then get confused by others. Nah, my way ‘in’ to sport is through human interest stuff.

It’s kind of weird to realise that Lleyton Hewitt has been playing at the “pro level” (that’s what they call it, yes?) for most of your life. Twenty years is actually two decades, so that’s a bit of a long time (especially in sport). Weird.

The cricket’s been on too. I usually seem to find myself going for the team batting second in the T20 games…after all, the aim is for them to catch up and surpass the first team’s score. It’s more exciting when it’s close. I was going for the first-batters last night though, because they were Melbourne. Oh well, better luck next year. And Sydney, well, they did come from fourth on the ladder to win, so at least that’s got a bit of underdog in it.

I’m finally starting to get back into my writing, even if right now it’s ‘just’ character development things. It’s fun to play around with backstory, even if circumstances mean that any fluffy stuff created is liberally laced with angst from an author’s perspective. Those are the benefits of being the author – omnipotence and foreknowledge. 😉

By the way, I’ve updated my “Fandoms” post of last year, due to New Tricks ending and the rise of Vera.

Look out for a post about my 2015 soundtrack – my holiday was sort of busy, so I didn’t do it before the end of last year. Does anyone else find that it takes them all of January – or sometimes longer – to get used to writing the new year’s date instead of the old year’s? I think I’ve been helped in that regard this year because I made a commitment to write in my diary/journal every day.

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s back to ‘work’ I go….

REBLOG: The Intoxicating Draw of Love

For a long time, my main motto has been (and is) “Love Conquers All”. Lizzi’s words speak to me. They resonate. Lizzi can also be found at https://summat2thinkon.wordpress.com/

THE INTOXICATING DRAW OF LOVE

7:15 AM

This last year has been hard. What we all need is to relearn the meaning of love wins. We can begin right now by using the love wins hashtag liberally.

On VProud there is a stunning video and conversation called, Love has no race. Love has no disability. Love has no gender. Love has no age. Does your love defy labels?” It is easy to fall in love with this beautiful video, and we did so immediately. Then along came writer Lizzi Rogers who reflected on the topic of love winning so beautifully and thoughtfully, that we fell in love with the concept all over again. In the age of social media where ugliness rears its head in the unlikeliest of places, it feels good to fall in love with love, to define and redefine love wins meaning everyone wins, and yes, to even use the love wins hashtag with wild abandon. We can’t say enough how much this video and this essay both win. Take a look and see for yourself, and feel free to hashtag your approval.

—The VProud Team

Why It Matters That #LoveWins

By Lizzi Rogers for VProud

Nothing seems to work these days across social media if it’s not trendy. Even anti-trendy (for there seem to be as many stalwart jumpers onto dissenting bandwagons against the bandwagons which were already jumped upon for whichever fad has most recently gone viral) can prove almost as effective at starting discussions.

For every #PumpkinSpiceEverything or #RedCups, there is an equally earnest and opposing force trying to make their point above the clamor.

The marketing is intensely clever, and I should think that for commercial purposes, any exposure is good exposure and a trending tag is equivalent to money in the bank.

But in the end, it’s all just noise. Isn’t it?

Thing is, there’s a reason hashtags go viral. Someone, somewhere along the way, creates a tag which sums up a concept which is deeply and fervently held by a large group of people. This large group, though disparate in their geography, are nonetheless united by their deep-held conviction. The hashtag allows them to begin operating as a collective – to belong to a group – to pin their colors to the mast and effectively ‘march’ with those of a similar outlook.

We’ve seen #JeSuisCharlie, #BlackLivesMatter, and lately #TerrorismHasNoReligion.

Each tag which has suddenly spiked in popularity and trended across the world has been attached to some cataclysmic social event, snowballing as people click through updates to see what’s going on, and add their voice to the crowd.

There’s a darker side though, and while I hope we can all agree #BlackLives[doVERYMUCH]Matter, there are currents of unrest in the depths, due to a seemingly supportive alternative #AllLivesMatter (they do) which fails to take into account (because how could it?) the struggle of being black in a world still governed by white privilege.

People (when fervent) quickly become divided, reactionary, and argumentative; becoming lost in the semantics and implied context of a particular hashtag rather than uniting in the places which are shared, and remaining committed to the cause.

Such arguments typically cause such furor online that the collective is splintered into factions and the message becomes lost amongst infighting (the very incidence of which, alienates others from joining the cause, and results in worldwide nose-raising and an acute onset of ‘Judgysaurus Rex’).

The to-and-fro was no less when the #LoveWins hashtag went viral in June 2015, after gay marriage was legalized across the States. Previous to that (and ongoingly so) it was used by people who want to share stories of love – all love – and give voice and a ‘hook’ to the overriding concept that on the whole, in spite of how it may appear on the face of it (or in the news), love really DOES win.

It’s a beautiful thing, and the stories flagged up by this hashtag – puppies rescued from sewers; charitable efforts by children to contribute to worthy causes; triumphs of the heart and soul, and every instance that people behave in a manner which is FOR each other – develop connection and build community. Each one of them is a small but important occasion for celebrating that strongest of human emotions.

And we love love, don’t we? Every finer part of our human world is pervaded by love: songs, literature, art…and we are reminded that everywhere there is a human, there is the capacity for love to occur in some form.

We are all so much more alike than different, and in joining together to celebrate this, by pinning our heart-spangled colours to the mast and sharing stories of heart and positivity, we remind each other that ideally, we would prefer good to prevail.

Whichever other causes we follow, or however we choose to live, I hope that everyone will find ways to engage with those wonderful aspects of the human spirit which provide opportunities to bond.

The truth is we’re always stronger together, and in the face of times of increasing upheaval, we need to reconnect with our fellow humans and remember the flicker of kinship within us all.

We need to know that #LoveWins.

About the author: Lizzi Rogers is a Deep Thinker, a Truth-Teller, and a seeker of Good Things. She’s also silly, irreverent, and tries to write as beautifully as possible.  She sends glitterbombs and gathers people around her — building community wherever she can. A founder member of Sisterwives and #1000Speak, she hosts the Ten Things of Thankful bloghop each weekend and tries to #BeReal as often as possible. Find Lizzi on FacebookTwitter, Google+, and Pinterest and join Lizzi’s honest conversations on VProud.

Join This Honest Conversation

Love has no race. Love has no disability. Love has no gender. Love has no age. Does your love defy labels?

REBLOG: Togs or Swimmers?

I love language…..

Togs or swimmers? Why Australians use different words to describe the same things

Is Australia about to descend into civil war over whether a deep-fried potato snack is rightfully called a “potato cake” or a “potato scallop”? From some recent headlines, you might be forgiven for thinking so.

A series of maps showing differences in words used across Australia sparked fierce debates online over the virtues of calling a barbecued sausage served in a single slice of bread a “sausage in bread” or a “sausage sandwich”.

Given that these maps were put together as part of an educational activity for students participating in the Linguistics Roadshow, the huge interest in the way Australian English is used across the country took us by surprise. But, perhaps it shouldn’t have.

It’s often said that Australian English doesn’t vary much geographically – and it’s true that we don’t find the same striking linguistic differences across the country as in some other corners of the English-speaking world.

However, past and ongoing research has shown that there are some regional differences. Among the most obvious are the words people use for the same thing, such as swimwear – preferences for “togs”, “swimmers”, “cossie” or “bathers” vary markedly across the states and territories.

A very interesting article from The Conversation. Read the rest here.

The life and works of A.A. Milne. A true cause to celebrate.

Late birthday wishes to A. A. Milne…
My 201st blog post – a reblog from Yolly about the man who wrote (among other things) about the goings-on of the inhabitants in One Hundred Acre Wood.

Well, This Is What I Think

18 January is Pooh Day, celebrating the birthday of A.A. Milne in 1882.

Pooh

There is no doubt in my mind that Milne tapped into a deep understanding of the human condition with his Pooh stories.

Milne was a noted writer, primarily as a playwright, before the huge success of Pooh overshadowed all his previous work. He served in both World Wars, joining the British Army in World War I, where he was injured on the battle of the Somme, and was a captain of the British Home Guard in World War II. Milne did not speak out much on the subject of religion, although he used religious terms to explain his decision, while remaining a pacifist, to join the Home Guard: “In fighting Hitler”, he wrote, “we are truly fighting the Devil, the Anti-Christ … Hitler was a crusader against God.”

When he was growing up, one of his teachers was H. G…

View original post 1,278 more words

Liebster Award

I got nominated for a blogger award! Thanks Carla!

The official post rules are:

  1. Thank your nominator and tag them in your post(s).
  2. Answer the 11 questions given to you.
  3. Nominate 11 blogs with less than 1000 followers.
  4. Ask your nominees 11 questions and let them know on social media.

So, here goes!

  1. What is your favorite children’s book and why?
    Depends on what you call a children’s book. I’ll say the Harry Potter series – yes, series, I don’t bother picking a particular favourite. You don’t have to be a kid to read and enjoy those, but I read them first in primary school. They’re my favourites because the world-building is amazing (I love the idea of magical society existing alongside the muggle one) and the books have multi-layered themes (I’ve said that a few times before on here). Those are the reasons my love for the HP series endures, but I also love them because they were the books I discovered when I was just a nerdy uncoordinated girl – it’s the common point of connection I discovered with some people who became friends.
  2. What song or songs bring out the most emotion in you and why?
    Tricky. Perhaps (right now anyway) it’s “Thank You for the Music” by ABBA. This used to remind me of my first ever ‘performance’ – a school concert. Lately, though, it’s taken on a deeper meaning, as I listened to the words a little more closely and realised how much I could relate to it (whether the talent be song or writing).
    I like many songs. The songs I love tend to be ones which tell a particular story and/or were heard at a particular event/ point in time in my life so are now tied to it. Those are the ones that really grab me and pull my heartstrings. (I’ve talked about the power of music before on the blog, actually.)
  3. Who is your favorite author?
    I have several, like Tamora Pierce, J.R.R. Tolkien, Emily Rodda and others…. but top of the list is J.K. Rowling.
  4. If you have suffered heartbreak, what kind of writing did you produce in the aftermath of your heartbreak?
    Eep. All the stuff I wrote about heartbreaking times (and before and after) is private, handwritten, journal stuff. The sort of soul-scrubbing, often painful but ultimately cleansing stuff that’s needed at that time.
  5. What is your favorite thing that you wrote as a child?
    Depends on your definition of “child”. My favourite subject was English at school, so I wrote a lot of different stuff. If we’re talking pre-teen writings, then I wrote a letter to an alien once, as well as a story about fairies in a back garden in a rural Victorian town foiling a burgular… But I tend to like my teen writings better.
    In other words, an author is her own harshest critic.
  6. What makes you laugh?
    Many things, as I’m a cheery soul. I like lighthearted, honest fun and I tend to laugh most when I’m enjoying myself with friends or family, or watching the antics of our family dog, or reading a good story/ watching a good movie/ show.
  7. Who is your favorite stand-up comedian?
    Er, I dunno. A lot of conventional humour tends to slide past me – so I’m a hit and miss sort with comedy. (I can’t stand mockery humour, for instance). I don’t really have a favourite.
  8. What is your favorite season and why? 
    Late spring/ early summer. When the days are usually warmer but it hasn’t reached boiling and the holiday season is coming.
  9. Who is you favorite book/movie villain?
    I hadn’t really thought about it tbh. I’m going to say Voldemort and Vader. Sure, Sauron and that ilk are nice to read about because they’re so bad, the feelings of satisfaction when the inevitable destruction happens, but  I like my villains nasty, but with a touch of tragic!/ unfortunate! and maybe-redeemable!backstory which made them that way. It gives more room to play.
  10. What is your favorite city in the world and why?
    What a question! I don’t know. I’ve been to a few cities and they all have their good points. I don’t really know if I have a favourite. Instead, I’ll nominate a city I’d like to visit (among others): Bradford, UK. Hi Morwen!
  11. Who is someone that has had a positive impact in your life and why?
    Just one person? All right then. I’ll name one of my first friends, Vaanesa. She was one of the few who stuck up for me in primary school. Or maybe that should be “stuck out with me”, haha.

Now, to nominate 11 other bloggers:
Blissfully Informed Hippy Chick – https://blissfullyinformedhippiechick.wordpress.com/
Oncoming Spork – https://apostrophobic.wordpress.com/
Gee Jen – https://geejenmotw.wordpress.com/
Megan Morales – https://meganelizabethmorales.wordpress.com/
Mind to Unbind – https://mindtounbind.wordpress.com/
Ceredwyn Alexander – https://paganaidd.wordpress.com/
Joanne – http://samepersondifferentme.com/
Poppy – https://toldbypoppy.wordpress.com/
Matt Pavlak – http://accidentallyinspired.com/
Gina – https://aussieg.wordpress.com/
Angelique Jamail – http://sapphostorque.com/

Check them out. They’re really good – a mixed bag of life experiences and locations. I might not always agree with what they say, but they make me think, laugh and feel (with them, not at them, I hope!).

My questions…

  1. What is your favourite book/ movie/ T.V. show and why? (You can give an answer to all three, or just one or two of them.)
  2. Do you prefer to read books or watch movies/T.V.?
  3. What song or songs bring out the most emotion in you and why?
  4. What makes you laugh?
  5. What gets you angry – and how do you deal with that? (‘That’ being the situation and /or the anger itself.)
  6. What are you passionate about? (Other writers, you can name writing if you like, but name something else too.)
  7. What is your earliest memory?
  8. Do you have/ want a pet? If yes, what sort and why? If no, why not?
  9. What is your favourite time of year? (Holiday, season, etc.)
  10. What is your favourite type of weather?
  11. How long have you been blogging and what made you start?

And go! 🙂

(REBLOGGED) Absolute Zero

This is very applicable to me. Though I haven’t published any novels yet, the writing bug has bitten me hard. It bit me young and then (to continue the metaphor completely) the infection spread and didn’t stop. It’s glorious.

Sometimes it can be a pest. I didn’t do much writing in November or December. If that continued, then it would be like giving up and letting the “infection” die. But I can’t do it. My mind is full of ideas and though I may not write all of them down, or not as often as perhaps I could, I’ll never stop. The ideas will always be there.

Lily’s story in particular….It wants four (maybe three) books. So of course there’s a glut of ideas swimming around in my head, telling me to hurry up and get on with it!

Kameron Hurley: Absolute Zero — The Temperature At Which Writers Give Up

by terribleminds

I will never not give blog space to Kameron Hurley, because Kameron Hurley is a whip-crack crotch-kick of a writer. She is amazing, and she is welcome here forever. (I mean, it doesn’t help that she stole the keys to the blog and made herself a copy.) Read her books. But read this first.

* * *

I’ve given up on a lot of things in my life: Relationships. Carbs. Being an astronaut. Adjunct teaching. Running for “fun.” Most things concocted at Taco Bell.

What I never gave up on is pursuing a career as a writer.

And when I look at all the other things in life I gave up on, I wonder why it is that I’ve been willing to stick with something that has been, at times, more brutal than the worst relationship, more punishing to my body than carbs, and certainly not nearly as tasty as some of the scariest shit at Taco Bell.

Why do some writers persist, and some writers – many of them the most talented and promising writers I’ve ever known– quit?

It’s a question I ask myself the longer I work in the business. And it’s a question I get from a lot of colleagues and fans the longer I persist.

This is a post for writers who want to make their career as writers of fiction. If you’d just like to “put something out there” or write a great book every ten years for a few thousand dollars, those are perfectly valid approaches to writing. But heads’ up that this isn’t going to be the post for you.

(Read more by clicking on the title.)